Unfailing Love

Proverbs 19:21

"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

We focused on Proverbs 19:21 today for prayer (noon and evening). Tonight, I picked up my Bible which was already open from this morning (I did not read from it, I just flipped it open and laid it on the dresser). I wasn't aiming for a certain book tonight and didn't make the connection that the page was flipped to the book of Proverbs, the 19th chapter. Seriously. 19 was the first bolded number I saw so that's where I started reading. Once I got to verse 21 I could only say "Thank you, God!" The feeling. The assurance. The presence. It's real.

So I kept reading and the next verse made me say "Ummmm hmmmm!" Some of the truest words I've ever heard.

Proverbs 19:22

"What a person desires is UNFAILING LOVE, better to be poor than a liar."

What a person desire is unfailing love - unfailing love is a love that will NOT fail you. The dictionary defines the word unfailing as, without error or fault. God is without error, God is without fault, and he loves us - in ways that are unimaginable. And what is love? Well, I don't have the perfect definition for love and I am sure love means different things to different people. One way God shows us how much he loves us is by being patient with us. You know, when he told you to do 'that thing' six months ago and you didn't, and he waited another 6 months (being just as patient) for you to do it. He shows us that he loves us by not being irritable or resentful towards us. How? His grace and mercy constantly start afresh each day. I'm human and sometimes people annoy me, but if I focus on "well, I still have to love this person" no matter how much I am irritated - what I'm irritated about doesn't actually deserve my attention. And because of this, our lives mean so much more when we learn to experience His love deeply to build a relationship with Him. We learn how to love Him and others. It's like when we learn to love people in new relationships, the same rules apply. We learn how to communicate with Him. We learn how to trust Him. We learn how to be patient. We learn how to sacrifice.

Can you name a person who is able to love you without error or fault? I highly doubt it. Nobody can and nobody will - BUT God. People can love us with great intentions, with loyalty and truth - but their love will never be without fault or error - and we shouldn't expect a perfect love from them. When we learn to experience God's love, we have courage and strength through him to require a high standard of love from people. Set the standard. We can be firm in living by what to and not to tolerate, deciding what's respectful and what's not, I'm not shying away from these things, my point is that people are not perfect. Our love can't be shown without error or fault, but we can and should be intentional about how we choose to love others.

Trust Him. Give Him a chance. When we've never been heartbroken or we're "fresh off the porch" - our expectation of love exceeds the clouds. We float above and never stop to think twice about looking down to see if we're on track for a perfect landing. We operate as if we know we're secure - and this my friend, is how we should learn to experience a relationship with God. To experience a love that will NOT fail us? Point me to Him!

His name is Jesus! He loves you. He cares for you. He picks you up when you are down. He stays by your side. He wipes your eyes when you're crying at 3 a.m. He feels your pain when you're a complete wreck on the inside, walking around with a smile on your face. He never leaves you.

We love hard until we experience that first heartbreak. Then, sometimes we lose the desire to love, love others with some of our hearts but not all, and pick and choose days we do and don't want to "be in love". We say/think, "What's the purpose of allowing myself to be hurt again?"

This takes us back to the verse. "What a person desires is unfailing love..." Nobody wants to be failed. In any aspect. We do not like for people to fail us. We want people to come through for us and when they don't - it hurts. It leaves scars. It makes us angry. Sometimes it makes us hateful, because we ultimately desire unfailing love. For years, I had trouble receiving love. I would stop it at the door, or only receive so much of it. At the time, I didn't know why I had become that way - so I remained silent. Since then, I've taken some time to build a relationship with my main man. God, that is. A friend also introduced me to the book, "The Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyers and it has widened my perspective greatly. I am still working on this and have been able to identify some things:

*I have been in a few relationships. You know, the ones that were "labeled" or whatever. But neither of them was with God, until last year. I believed in him, I just never had an intimate relationship with him.

I have believed in God since I can remember, it's what my folks did. We went to church when I was a child, I went to church when I became an adult. They sang in the choir when I was a child, I started singing in the choir when I was old enough. They helped strangers when I was a child, I knew that was a kind thing to do. -- They told me to believe in God, I believed in God and prayed, but they never taught me "how to" build a relationship with Him. -- Children are able to better understand a lot of things as they grow and develop, and if reasons and 'whys' are explained to children, it creates a more solid foundation. So just as we build foundations of children attending church on Sundays, we can build foundations of children knowing why they are attending church on Sundays. Just as we build foundations of children reading the Bible, we can build foundations on why we read the Bible and too, allow them to explain their thinking about what they read (at home, not just at church). Just like we build foundations of children reciting the Lord's Prayer, we can build foundations of teaching children why prayer is important and that one way to build a relationship with God is by talking to him, having a regular conversation. We can teach our children that having a relationship with God is a priority in order for all other relationships (outside of the family, and sometimes within the family) to work, that a relationship with God first comes by BELIEVING, and is elevated by trusting and having faith in Him; sharing that we can't see him but every now and again we can feel him moving on the inside of us because he is a spirit, sharing that we can talk to God about everyday problems, that we connect with Him through prayer, praise, and worship. Learning to do these things helps us to better build a relationship with God and experience his love for us if we ever think about experiencing love and allowing others to love us.

*I FAILED at love. I was involved in relationships where I did not make the best decisions regarding my partner. I could have been more thoughtful about how my actions would have an effect on him. We have to learn how to teach our children (YES, at young ages) that actions have the potential to break and hurt others. Yes, they will make their own decision, but at least give them something to consider. How many times have you thought back to something your grandparents, parents, aunts, or uncles told you many years ago - and you have never forgotten it? That's what we have to do with our children. Teaching assertiveness goes along with this. (I can share an entire different story about this alone, but for the sake of time.) :)

*I experienced FAILED LOVE. I was involved in relationships where my partner's decisions hurt, embarrassed, and humiliated me. We don't like to be hurt, do we? We don't like to be embarrassed. We don't like to feel sad. But that's a part of life, too. It's going to happen - so admit it. And if you're stating that what somebody did to you (lied, cheated, hurt, embarrassed, almost killed) really didn't bruise you - you're lying to yourself. We're human. We hurt. But hurt is an event too, that means it can end! We can choose to let it stay at a certain point and learn to move past it.

So factoring in the three components I've listed above (and those aren't all), we can see that what we see, experience, and decide to partake in positively or negatively affects who we become. As difficult as it is, it is possible to learn to forgive and move past failed love and failing at love. Those failures were events that happened and ended! Those events don't define who we truly are. If we don't let failed love and having failed at love go, we allow those thoughts to linger and live within us, and when thoughts of failed love live within us - there's no way to experience UNFAILING LOVE through God - and intentional, Christ-like love from people we encounter each day. Do not go another day with the weight of failing at love or allowing failed love to conquer you and your mind. We can move past it.

After all, it is the very thing Jesus asks us to do: "Love one another, as I have loved you."

His love is UNFAILING. Let Him love you so that you are able to receive and show love.

Oh, and the second part of the scipture, ". . . better to be poor than a liar." Don't lie - you do not have to try to make yourself look good, they can accept who you are or hit the door. Don't lie - do not twist the story for your benefit. That's fraudulent. Don't lie - accept the embarrassment. You may be able to convince others by lying, but you'll never be able to convince yourself that your lie is true. Free yourself.

With Love,

CHRISTie